I really like your topic. When I was reading that it reminded me of some of the parties 
that i went  to and i never went to a party until i was 18 wow. I like all of the stastics you 
used in your essay. I think you should read it over and check for words that are in the 
wrong place there was a few of these. I like how you stated your soureces it was good. I 
liked your essay when i was done reading it. There were just a few minor spelling and 
grammer articles but other then that I think it was a well thought out essay