When I was young, 

And didn't have a care

Mother gave me one -

Long-john underwear.

I wore it in the fall

When leaves were on the ground.

I wore it in the winter

When snow was all around.

Sometimes I took it off

And hid it here or there.

If Mother didn't catch me,

I wore no underwear.

But sometimes Mom would find

it;

She wasn't anybody's fool.

She would put it in a paper sack

And bring it straight to school.

She would drag me to the cloak

          room,

Give me a cold, cold stare,

Hand that paper bag to me,

Say, "Put on this underwear!"

 

 

 

I'd quickly take my clothes off;

Stand all shivery and bare.

I didn't fuss; I didn't fume;

I put on that underwear.

Mom would say,"Come home

Right after school.  I will see you

          there

We will discuss the reasons

You won't wear your underwear."

I would sit all day in school,

My eyes quite close to dripping,

For I knew when I got home,

I was bound to get a whipping.

I was right.  I knew, because,

We had played this game before.

As usual, I promised Mom

I wouldn't do it anymore.

I always did, but

Mother was aware

Any time I wasn't caught, I

wouldn't wear

That long-john underwear.

 

W. Ray Dunn